Q: Why do women like to have sex with the lights off?
A: They can’t stand to see aman have a good time!
Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?
A: Hold on to your nuts, thisis no ordinary blow job!
Q: Whats a condom and a coffin got in common?
A: They both hold stiffs but one is cumin and one is going!
Q: When is a man most intelligent, before, after or during sex?
A: During sex cuz he’s plugged up to the knowledge source=:)
Sex is like math.
Add a bed, Subtract the clothes, Divide the legs, and pray you don’t Multiply!
Sex is like a misdameanor, the more I miss it, da meaner I get
How do you know if you have a high sperm count ?
If she has to chew before she can swallow.haha!
Q: What did the penis say to the condom?
A: Cover me im going in!
Another 1: How can you tell which is the head nurse?
She’s the one with the dirty knees.
Have you noticed that more and more women are havingt heir navel’s pierced?
That’s because its a handy place to hang the air freshener,now u know!.
How do you make your girlfriend cry while having sex?…Phone her(the other clande)!
Bigamy is having one wife too many times. Some say monogamy is the same.
What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
Pregnant.
Scientists have discovered a certain food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive by 90 percent….
Wedding cake.
What is the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
During erotic sex you use a feather or an ice cube, during kinky sex you use the whole chicken or full bucket of water(bath).
….lets continue
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?
A: Ask ur wife.
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
You didn’t hold the pillow down long enough.
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a p*ni*?
The full man.
Q: What’s the difference between light and hard?
A: You can sleep with a light on.
Q: Why is fresh air a lot like sex?
A: Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.
Why do men have a hole in their p*n*s?
So their brains can get some oxygen now and then….breath out
Q: Why did God give woman 2 sets of lips?
A: So they can piss & moan at the same time!
Q: What are 3 words you dread the most while making love?
A: calling out another persons name! Nkt..nitakuwacha mara that that!
Q: How is sex like air?
A: It’s no big thing unless you aren’t getting any.
Q: What can a girl put behind her ears to make her sexy?
A: Her knees.
Q: What’s a man’s definition of a romantic evening?
A: Sex.
Q: Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?
A: You can do it by yourself, but it’s usually not as much fun.
Q: What do tofu and a dildo have in common?(get ur dictonary n get da meaning of tofu)
A: They are both meat substitutes.
Q: What is the diff. betwn a sin and shame?
A: It’s a sin to stick it in and a shame to take it out.
Q: What does a dwarf get if he runs through a womans legs ?
A: A cl*t around the ear and a flap across the face!
Q: What is hard and pink when it goes in and soft and wet when it comes out?
A: Bubblegum you dirty minded pervert!
Q: What do you call a whore with her own car?
A: Feels on Wheels!
Q: What do you do with a years worth of used condoms?
A: Melt them, turn them into tire and call it a goodyear.
Q: Why is sex like a game of bridge?
A: You either need a good partner or a good hand.
Bonus:
A man goes to the doctor suffering from premature ejaculation.
“Can you do anything to help me, Doc?” said the man.
“No, but I can give you the address of a woman who has a short attention span”replied the doctor.
Q: What is the difference between women and a washing machine?
A: The washing machine doesn’t follow you around for 2 weeks after you put a load into it.
Q: Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize an egg?
A: Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
Q: What did the left nut say to the right nut?
A: Don´t talk to the guy in the middle, he´s a dick.
Q: Why Is Sex Like Riding A Bike?
A: You have to keep pumping if you want to get anywhere.
